I made it through 10 out of the 13 chapters. After reading the chapter on How to Win Friends and Influence People, I decided to abandon the book. Parini has a bias that I have tired of. While I probably agree with his political views -- that's not what I was looking for in this book.
In this chapter he has harsh criticism for Carnegie and accuses his philosophy for promoting everything that is bad about our capitalist society: consumerism, narcissism, and the promotion of a fear-based society. People will buy what you're selling if they are afraid their lives will be diminished without it -- Parini extrapolates this philosophy to everything from selling soap to political agendas. He's not so harsh in his discussion of how to win friends -- it's evident he agrees with Carnegie that smiling, being interested in what another has to say, and remembering names are important social skills. And he's probably on target with his criticism of the art of influencing people. It is a bit disconcerting to think how easily we can be manipulated!
While I found it interesting to consider how these books have "changed America," I'm abandoning the book simply because I'm ready to move on to some fiction and a really good story!
You got me thinking on the topic of influencing people. We all have agendas, and as Chuck, our minister says, "Their are no pure motives." Since I generally am energized by change and always questioning the status quo, I like to look at both sides. Mom was the "influencer" for this way of thinking, irritating as it usually was! If I complained about something bothering me, she would say let's look at the other side of the situation.That is a form of manipulation. So I guess what I'm getting at is that manipulation can have a good outcome as well as not so good.
ReplyDeleteI always believe in trying to see "the other side." And I'm sure that's from Mom's influence :-) But I think that's a very positive trait. To me, manipulation as Parini discusses can be found in advertisements, political campaigns, and some unhealthy relationships. It's all about appealing to a persons insecurities and fears for purposes that don't necessarily benefit that person -- but instead work to achieve the manipulators own goals. I don't think that's always a bad thing -- there certainly are times when we need a little manipulation in order to make better decisions -- like stopping smoking, or eating more healthy foods, and recycling our garbage :-) But -- like anything else, it can be taken to an extreme. It's a topic worth pondering I think.
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